508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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