Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
