super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
