My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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