My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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