Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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