so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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