ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A+ Viking dick
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
