Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This baby is an asshole
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
