We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
