I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
