i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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