ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
