It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
