well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
