I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
