Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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