I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I enjoy the company of your penis
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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