lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
