ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
