Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
