im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think I just sharted jello shots
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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