HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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