feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
