I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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