i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
