Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
