I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
