so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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