I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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