we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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