my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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