So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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