dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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