Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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