This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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