I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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