I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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