The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
