Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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