Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Will exercising make me less horny?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
