For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
