Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
