Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
