What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
