Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
