I wanna passion pit in your ass
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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