so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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