First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
