So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't put those talents on a resume
I am one with the molecules
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
