WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
