I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
